Oregon

I’m in love with Oregon. Which is perfect, cause it’s where I was born. So it’s already like a magical fairyland where the story of Stephanie begins. And it would be totally unfortunate if I found out that it actually sucked. Which it doesn’t. So that’s ok.

People are super fucking nice here. Like, most places, if you’re sitting outside a gas station with a pack, they tell you (with varying degrees of politeness) to leave. Here they offer to buy you smokes and tell you that they wish they had the balls to do what you’re doing.

And it’s beautiful. Duh. It’s like Washington but brighter green. And covered in blackberries. I mean, fucking covered. I had a friend out here who had a little farm and had a bunch of goats for the sole purpose of eating blackberry plants so that other things had a chance to grow. I can’t even imagine being out here when all the plants have berries on them; there would be more blackberries than you could ever eat. There are blackberry  plants by every hitch-out spot, by every squat, on every sidewalk. I would be making myself sick with them every day if they were ripe.

Oh and hitchhiking is totally legal. No signs anywhere saying “No pedestrians or whatever else past this point.” You can be on the on-ramp or walk down the interstate or whatever the fuck you want and cops will leave you alone. I actually haven’t even spoken to a cop since I’ve been in Oregon. I’m pretty happy about that.

And they make great beer. Like, lots of it. My very first favorite beer when I first started to appreciate beer was Deschutes Black Butte Porter, brewed in Oregon. And they make Rogue here. Have you ever had any Rogue beer? Go try some. They sell it in those fancy 22 oz. bottles in places that sell fancy beer. Everything they make is delicious. We went on a date to a Rogue brewpub in Eugene and drank a bunch of different ridiculously delicious beer.

Ok, and also Portland is awesome. It’s my new favorite. I can’t even explain why. I just really fucking like the vibe there and there seems to always be interesting shit going on. It just feels comfortable, you know? Like a place I could totally belong.

Also, can we just talk about Voodoo Donuts? Just for like a second? Cause I’m really excited about this place. If nothing else, I’m gonna totally come back to Oregon just to eat more delicious donuts. I didn’t even make it into the one in Portland. There was always a line like out the door and around the corner. But their entire outside wall is glitter. Not like it’s a wall with some glitter on it, but the whole fucking wall is goddamn glitter. Their donuts could taste like asshole and I would still love the place. And the donuts come in awesome pink boxes. And don’t taste like asshole at all.

We got a free donut outside the Portland store, just for standing there with packs on not wanting to wait in line. Some guy just gave us one from his pink box. It was a donut with oreos on it. Ok, I don’t even like donuts. Like, I pretty  much think they suck. But this thing was fucking amazing. I mean, c’mon. It had oreos on top of it.

So when we got to Eugene we went to the one there which is the same idea but minus the glitter and the line. We got a donut with Cap’n Crunch on it and one with chocolate, oreos and peanut butter. Like, what? Who does that? Or actually, why don’t all people who make donuts do that? I never knew donuts could actually be delicious.

I even liberated some pink converse from a thrift store in Eugene and started calling them my voodoo donut shoes.

Whatever. That was probably way too many words about donuts. My point is: I love Oregon. This is where I’m from. In this weird, I’ve hardly been here, I don’t know much about it kind of way. But still, I began here. And it’s beautiful and even feels kinda homey. So everything is good.